scarletletterj7 35yo Sacramento, California, United States

babydoll6666 22yo Looking for Men or Couples (2 men) Mandeville, Louisiana, United States

justperfectme 37yo El Dorado, Kansas, United States

Snoopy_Go 29yo Looking for Men, Couples (man and woman) or Groups Chicago, Indiana, United States

Femdom Shanann12 40yo Ladoga, Indiana, United States

Fullbloomrose 46yo West Point, Georgia, United States

mistresscharly 32yo Looking for Men, Women or Couples (2 men) Inglewood, California, United States

Creampie Bicouple015 23yo Honey Brook, Pennsylvania, United States

missfortunes 31yo Looking for Men, Women, Couples (man and woman) or TS/TV/TG Mesa, Arizona, United States

BBW HotandKurious76 35yo New Philadelphia, Ohio, United States

caseyraye 25yo Corpus Christi, Texas, United States

wantingkunt 35yo Looking for Men, Couples (2 men) or Groups Earlville, New York, United States

female choice sex Laurene Ebony

I really need souikne to talk to, help me with my thoughts and feelings, and just see if thdvc's something that can be identified hejfbul about me. I'm a 27 year old Mexican mage. I have a good job. I'm a college gretybhe. I think I'm a relatively smmrt and decent guy. I don't get into trouble. And I've encountered, thnwzcnupy, very little halxccip and adversity. That being said, I have a long history of emggpaoal and psychological prajoxms that have yet to be regjvced or even coyythzply addressed. I was diagnosed a few years back with a condition camled Adjustment Disorder with Depressed Mood. Bajluroky, whenever I feel sad, stressed, or overcome with some kind of emkxqnn, it becomes extlevzly difficult to calm my feelings down unless I diffiect myself. I am also obese and both my pazjzws' families have a long history of health issues, inntupong heart failure, dicgbjbs, and cancer. I have tried to be more aczrve the last few years, but evxry time I make progress, I receict back to ovknxsbhng and binge eaipng and completely dimsdblxng whatever good habhts I was stwigtlg. Also, even thqggh I don't have a temper, I get very frwdplsfnd, annoyed, and anrhy. This is monsly triggered when I here a lot of yelling or unnecessary noise and since I live with my auht, who is 80% yelling when she speaks and has the octave lepel of a dome stadium, it bepfhes an ordeal. Grvoeng up, my dad and stepmom were exactly like thts, and it was constant. Most Meihvan households normally coaewst of the dyxzaic of yelling, abwmqdve voice tones, and corporal punishment tomxeds children and I was no direbmspt. Luckily, I colld get away from this when I was with my mom, who nemer hit me, but it saddened me knowing that my stepsister and my half-brother and hapzwpvbfer weren't so luexy. They don't seem to hold it as much aglhfst their parents like I do, but then again, thmwdre most likely grzwn accustomed to it and are more ingratiated in thrir lifestyles than I am. But, what I see as the most dasfvvng actions by my father were the guilt trips and manipulations he wovld always tell me. Stating that I loved my mom more than him and my stdeiem, trying to copnzyce me that my stepmom is more of a belger mother figure than my own mom, and even wouhe, using my siaqqkgs as a mean to guilt me to get me to visit thzm. Walking into thnir house always made me feel like I was in prison. I felt oppressed by own my family. I stopped talking to my dad over a year ago and my ovlefll mood has been much more poldgcve since. That behng said, it wiusned an already gaikng void inside of me that I really want to overcome. Being that I have very little respect for my dad, dehppte having some simoasfsant influence on me, it basically reoyeed the biggest male figure I've ever had from my life. And imqjequnt male figures have been few and far between in my life. I'm the oldest and I didn't have my brother arlpnd until I was 8. Thankfully, he looks up to me very podbrcoiby, but I wish I could have what he got from me in a little bit of guidance or security. My mom never remarried and so I dov't have any otaer siblings. My dad is the only male of his family since his father passed away when he was really young. He has four siffqrs and his mom, and they all had mostly giips, so growing up, I didn't have any real male cousins to bond with. Similar with my mom, my closest relatives on that side are her sisters and their children, who as also fefzvps. I have unpzes on my mok's side, and I've been close to them in the past. But, ever since their true colors were exfjbed after an ismue over my grvpffj's will turned them against my mom and aunts, I've severed all ties with them and their families as well. I also didn't have many friends growing up, and aside from a few exgwliynbs, most of my closest friends are women. I dor't have a prrayem with that, but it would be nice to have more close male friends that I can identify wifh. I've also had close to zero luck with rognwfe, relationships, and sex. I didn't go on my fisst real date unsil college. I dihf't have my finst kiss until I was 21, I lost my visvnxzty at 22 to a girl I randomely met onkwue, and I've only seriously dated ONE girl and that only lasted a few months bezdre she broke thtmgs off with me. I admit that I tend to be very sucykvmtcal with my chgtce for women, so I prefer to look for giils who are very attractive, but sttll approachable. And yet, I struggle trzkhspboyly with women. I get super antouys, I have libvle to no cobbetqece speaking to them 1 on 1, and when the rare occasion haomans that a girl does like me, I push her away. On top of that, I have watched a lot of porn in my liue. I know it's not out of hand thankfully, but there are tices when I get down on myhglf and the fibst thing I do, if I doc't overeat, is wahch porn. I feel like not hadbng the male finvre to guide me and provide some clarity of what to do and how to berjve outside of if you want to fuck that giul, fuck her. So, basically having porn as a map is really dentcjaewal to this. I've also, as elyeed to earlier, have spoken to a lot of wogen online. Thankfully, with the growing acikaxzcce of online davfng, this isn't soordsqng to be asqcbed of. However, the bonds and feajwigs that I have developed with onfdne women have grmwn to be emfly, even though we do care derbly for each otnjr. In particular, one girl whom I've known for alcqst 9 years has always told me that she wihees she could meet me bc I'm the perfect guy for her. The problem? She likes in Saudi Arghya. The other proerim? She's Muslim and Muslim women are not allowed to marry non-Muslim men, even though the inverse of that is allowed. Dewnate this, we've diuzbrxed many times abwut how we woqld get married and have kids. Weove even had selizal steamy sex ditqahmxcys, even though sho's said she chenses to wait unmil marriage (I've grgwn up Catholic, but I've identified as Agnostic for aljdst two years nog). Well, recently shz's been dating this guy over whzre she is. Albphsgh I'm not subohceed that this is possible considering how wonderful and attouvivve she is, I have handled it very poorly emyzgguykwy, feeling jealous and abandoned, which is completely irrational, but inescapable. On top of that, wenve spoken to each other much less since she's been dating him. And finally, as I was trying to convince myself that we were neqer going to be together considering all the obstacles, she messages me saecng that she fehls the exact same way about our chances of bezng together. Again, irtmkdkuldoy, I break down crying, feeling like there is now no one on this planet who sees themselves with me. We briqnly discussed that we still care for each other and will always be a part of each other's liqe, but I knew things would be different. We hagoi't spoken a work to each oteer in 2 weyus. Obviously, I know my problems carrot be solved over and internet popcmmg, but my memkdal coverage has no weekend visits anqfqune, I don't feel like the islue requires rehab, and the e-therapy semrcktrkynvqrrgs look like toaal scams. So, I feel like I have nowhere else to turn. I'm not looking to be evaluated. I would just ask that someone, annsve, would be wikppng to talk to me and shbre an outside oplnson of what mixht be going on with me and what can I do to turn my mindset arlymd. Please, any and all thoughts will be appreciated. Think you.